alexseanchai: Katsuki Yuuri wearing a blue jacket and his glasses and holding a poodle, in front of the asexual pride flag with a rainbow heart inset. (Default)
let me hear your voice tonight ([personal profile] alexseanchai) wrote2017-01-10 03:40 pm

one of these days I will learn that I cannot ACTUALLY Have It All

Talking about Hera on Bacchic Underground, predictably enough as She is the God of the Month for January. (Also it's Gamelion, which is kind of Her month!) And, uh, remember this? (Locked to [personal profile] alexeigynaix access list. Gist is, personal gnosis from Hera followed by divination followed by some months thought, and now my long-term plan includes some greater-than-zero number of kids.)

Now, I've got a lot of work to do in a lot of areas before kids can be a thing in my life, and also a lot of work to do before I'm, like, what are the words I want here, self-possessed maybe? something, anyway, enough to be part of the balance that a relationship between mature adults requires. And partner(s) has to precede kid(s), because I am absolutely not capable of raising a kid on my own. Certainly not on this paycheck!

Let us not discuss the anxiety and whatnot issues that have thus far made it difficult to find someone. There have literally been three people who have expressed romantic interest in me in my life, you know? That I know of, I should say, given I'm probably kind of clueless about this sort of thing, given my usual level of clue in human social interaction. Wait, no, are we counting the guy who asked me to prom? Four. (I didn't go to prom. Couldn't fathom wanting to.) Anyway, they're all men, and I'm a lesbian!

I don't even know if I'm asking for advice or sympathy or just a listening ear. I should, like, plan an offertory/petitionary ritual to Hera and Aphrodite, though.

...

I don't want to go to work. :(

*leaves for work*